be_themoon: I want a better world. By me. (XMen: Charles/Eric: the waste of my love)
[personal profile] be_themoon
Title: waiting for(ward)
Original Text(s) Erased: Waiting For the Great Leap Forward
Erased By: [personal profile] be_themoon
Original Text By: [personal profile] woldy
Fandom (of original text): Harry Potter
Fandom (of erasure): N/A


December
future years might be symbolic,
hands or missiles for the cause
the fight
these people who’ve run
out of luck
surviving the way that made them bitter. Regardless
he is hungry.
they’re lucky to be
desperate
fists around stones
blinding lights.

December
open eyes another hint
alone at the bedside.
feel slow
alive.
furious.
lost from sight.
the last sensation of falling is best.
“sorry I did everything.”
he doesn’t regret it
didn’t want to
trying to fill the silence
with a maelstrom in
the empty room.

December
if you care to look
wanted to
full volume is switching
back to calm.
sort them out
based on a joke
rising to a shout.
“I never delayed Death.”
“Did you ever have losses – “
“I’m too tired”
blazing in a way
that is fiercely abrupt
and inevitable
shouting because rage
is less of an effort than being careful.
help is potent and poisonous.
help is back at the beginning
a point when the end
is barely distinct from the start
it will have to be
enough.

December
the night before is
unsubtle
and a terrible mess of unspoken
acceptable
trust.
the war coming would make real
things fighting to be love.
luck and choices.
a single thread untangled
miraculous.
This is when it started.


Date: 2012-01-13 11:30 pm (UTC)
zempasuchil: (puget sound)
From: [personal profile] zempasuchil
ahhhhh omgggg how are you so good

the repetition of December and the way it seperates the poem, where usually you would expect a month to start a sequence of different months, but it's all December.

surviving the way that made them bitter. Regardless
he is hungry.
they’re lucky to be
desperate
fists around stones
blinding lights.


omg. omg yes.

blazing in a way
that is fiercely abrupt
and inevitable
...
help is potent and poisonous.
help is back at the beginning
a point when the end
is barely distinct from the start
it will have to be
enough.


aaahhhhhh omg yes, there is your talent for endings that punch!

AND THE LAST STANZA IS 100% GREAT

<33333 how wonderful, B, you are fabulous <3

Date: 2012-01-13 11:51 pm (UTC)
zempasuchil: (winchesters - impala - sky)
From: [personal profile] zempasuchil
wow sorry, forgive my html fail. CLEARLY I WAS TOO OVERCOME WITH EMOTION TO CODE CORRECTLY. :) :)

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I can learn to stand alone

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