(no subject)

[be_themoon]

I am so tired of having commitment isues. It doesn't help with writing or relationships. I don't even know what causes these problems, I just know that the thought of marriage at the least worries me and on bad days terrifies me, and that I've always had problems with starting something large. I just... balk at the idea of commitment, and I don't know why.

And these mood swings, it's ridiculous! I've gone back and forth between happy and angry three or four times just today. This is ridiculous. I need it to stop, preferably now.

Ugh. What makes it worse is that I'm pretty sure these are my depression issues flaring up again and I really don't need that, not now. I don't have the RL support system I need, my sisters are having problems of their own, and my dad is on the verge of a rampage and has been for a while.

Damnit RL, behave.

Comments

[turkeyish.livejournal.com]

aw, hon. if you ever need to talk or rant or anything, i'm here. *hugs*

[be-themoon.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* Thanks so much - honestly, the only thing keeping me sane right now is just knowing that my f-list is out there being awesome. <333 Mostly right now I just need to be able to hide at home and browse the interwebs and just... well, hide from life I guess. :P Unfortunately, this is not an option. :/

[hollydoodle19.livejournal.com]

Commitment terrifes me too. But I think it should at this age, and maybe you wopn't be so scared when you're older and have someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. ♥

[be-themoon.livejournal.com]

I rather hope so. :/ Thanks for being there. *hugs*

[torylltales.livejournal.com]

To be honest, I think everyone has commitment issues on some level. Because if they don't, that just makes me weird and abnormal, and I'm not abnormal. :P

I know what you mean, though, I find myself liking the idea of being the "most peculiar man" of the Simon and Garfunkel song than committing myself to a relationship.

However, I do find myself with a certain reluctance to work on big projects. Some of it is resitance to change, some of it is just laziness, but the important thing is that I always return to them, eventually. You're not alone in this, and you can find the motivation you need, if you search hard enough.

[be-themoon.livejournal.com]

I'd agree there - most people do have some sort of commitment issues. The main problem is that while normally mine are just a low-level nuisance, on bad days they get to the point where they're crippling and keep me from having any sort of normal or good day.

I just have to last it through this latest attack of freak-out and hopefully I'll be fine. It helps a lot just having my f-list there. <3 Thanks so much for being there.