points of interest

[be_themoon]

+ Lass wrote more Narnia Durkheim fic, which is naturally awesome. Forms & Foundations. Susan & Edmund. This world tells her, You are Susan Pevensie, a whole equal to the sum of her parts, and she wonders what that entails.

+ Florida got a cold snap in the past few days and my hands are freezing. off. I'm not even really kidding about this - I have poor circulation in my hands and feet, and I pretty much always have cold hands, but in the cold weather they just don't warm up. at all. it makes typing a little annoying.

+ my little procrastination habit? really bad this past week. feels like I'm physically incapable of doing school unless there is a tangible deadline, and even then it's close. I finished my 1.5K essay due tonight about half an hour before it was due. makes me feel stupid. I've got to stop that.

+ things are like... shifting? I dunno. I mean, I took the PSAT, which is suddenly feeling like a tangible piece of my possible history and every time I think about it I start worrying about the questions and if I did well enough, because my mom wants me to get the Merit Scholarship. and I mean, fuck, you have to be really really smart to do that and I just don't know if I'm that good. I could be, I think. I should be. but I've been distracted and unable to concentrate and just, fuck, you guys. if I want to go to a good college without pulling a couple hundred scholarship strings, I need that Merit Scholarship. I need the prestige that comes with it so that the colleges want me. agh. I don't want to be stressed by this but inexplicably, I am. I have a year and a half before I graduate highschool! I'm planning on taking a gap year, maybe two! I should not be worrying about this shit yet. *deep breaths*

+ on a much more cheerful note, MUSIC. "The Captain and the Hourglass" by Laura Marling. It's kind of melancholy, kind of hopeful, and I love it a lot because of these two lines - "He’s done with all this bullshit, he’s going back to war, / If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure." Also, because Kathy recommended it to me and now I can't stop listening, "Citadel" by Anna Nalick. And naturally, my very own theme song for cloudy days, "Defying Gravity" from Wicked. Complete with kickass Firefly vid, of course. Also a lot of Vienna Teng, because she has a gorgeous voice.

+ now I need to go to bed. so I can wake up and take a math test. oh shit. one that I haven't really studied for aghkshgdlg. I shall have to wake up early.

Comments

[zempasuchil.livejournal.com]

being a nanny or an au pair sounds like it'd be awesome. and you're experienced with that, too :) definitely take advantage of that opportunity to travel and see parts of the world! some schools ask for like a justification of time taken off between high school and college.